If you caught any health news from The Washington Post, New York Times, or NPR this morning, you might have been inundated (happily or otherwise) with pictures of bacon, burgers, hot dogs, and sausages. And those pictures were likely accompanied by headlines touting new research that conflicts with nearly ubiquitous dietary advice to eat less red and processed meat. The trouble is, this isn’t news at all—it’s just a terribly misguided interpretation of the evidence we already have.